Bad Travels
by mutated-ducks-rule
Summary: The penguins accidently step through the Travelerex, an untested invention of Kowalski's. Little do they know the horrors and bunnies they'll encounter!Contains Denmark. My 1st story: It's T cause I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Kowalski, are you done yet?" a tired Private asked.

"As soon as I … done!" The tall penguin leaned back and admired his new invention, a round portal with a single, large button on the side.

"Great, so... what does it do?' asked Skipper.

"This is the Travelerex. You push this button here and walk inside, then it transports you to your most desired place," Kowalski explained while stifling a yawn.

"Bed?" Rico offered.

"Right, we should all go to bed. And good job on the Travelerex, Kowalski." Skipper said.

Rico coughed up four earmuffs and the four headed to bed. But, as soon as the last penguin fell asleep the fishbowl entrance opened and out came a lemur with a leafy crown upon his head.

Chapter 2

"Hello, slap-hap… I mean sleepy penguins," Julian started. " So… since you are obviously not hungry I will eat your food so your food-box isn't sad. If you are disagreeing say 'no. "

Private muttered something about badgers and Julian made his way to the fridge and within five minutes he gathered a juice-box, some Jell-O and two pieces of fudge that Rico had stolen earlier.

"Okay, Goodbye penguins." Julian said as he climbed the ladder. Not being able to go up and still hold the food, the juice box slipped out of his paw and spilled all over the floor.

"Uh, well, you do like cleaning." The king said. "So, I'll just leave you." The fishbowl entrance closed, leaving the penguins and the still-open fridge without moonlight.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Hello, slap-hap… I mean sleepy penguins," Julian started. " So… since you are obviously not hungry I will eat your food so your food-box isn't sad. If you are disagreeing say 'no. "

Private muttered something about badgers and Julian made his way to the fridge and within five minutes he gathered a juice-box, some Jell-O and two pieces of fudge that Rico had stolen earlier.

"Okay, Goodbye penguins." Julian said as he climbed the ladder. Not being able to go up and still hold the food, the juice box slipped out of his paw and spilled all over the floor.

"Uh, well, you do like cleaning." The king said. "So, I'll just leave you." The fishbowl entrance closed, leaving the penguins and the still-open fridge without moonlight.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the advice! And yes, I know I posted chapter 2 twice, I was having a disagreement with my computer. Comment as often as you can and watch out for cars!

Chapter 3

Rico thought the explosion would be hot. So why was it cold? And _why_was it calling his name?

"For the last time, soldier, WAKE UP!" At Skipper's command, Rico jumped and landed in a fighting position onto the… ice?

"Good you're up," noted Kowalski, whose flippers were crossed. "I was just rethinking the theory of _**why is the floor of our H.Q covered in ice ?"**_

"Yeah, Rico, no explosives? Have you gone hippie!" Skipper asked.

"Skippah, you said hippies were against we stand for, but this is fun!" Private demonstrated his point by doing a figure eight in the ice. Rico glanced warily at the frozen water before smiling and joining Private's performance with a 360-degree turn into the air. He landed five feet in front of Private and the two zigzagged before a series of events that would pain the average human eyes.

Kowalski turned to Skipper, "Well if Rico didn't do it, who did?" Speech was unnecessary, it was obvious from the crumpled up juice box, the recently closed fridge, and the overran stench of hair products what happened.

"Not to mention that …" Kowalski took a deep breath of air "The Travelerex… it's… it's actually, I don't know what's happened to it. Hmm, I'll need to make an exam. Rico, I'll need a stethoscope, a package of… are you even listening?"

Private came to Rico's defense. "Oh, lighten up, Kowalski, I'm sure the Travelerex is fine. Just watch, as soon as I press this button right here it'll…"

"Private, NO!" Kowalski and Skipper yelled at the same time. But, it was too late; flipper and button touched and the four surprised penguins vanished in an explosion of green.

**The next chapter will consist of where Private, Kowalski and Rico are. I had to rearrange my Denmark theory a little thanks to Hans. Thanks a lot Hans!**


	4. Authors note

**Authors note:**

**I'm sorry that this isn't a real chapter, but I'm stuck! I just can't think of a place Kowalski would absolutely hate. If you have any suggestions at all please tell me so I can continue the story. If you do you get a virtual cookie!**


	5. Chapter 4

Thank you sooo much for the ideas! And as I promised, free cookies! (Throws chocolate chip cookies to horsexloverx, Willowfur, Icicle1penguin, and Cudabear) If you're one of those weird people who don't like chocolate chip cookies, just ask Smokey the bear to tell me. He knows where I live, or at least that's what he said last time we saw each other…

Ellie was busy chewing poppy seeds off when she heard a loud bump. She looked up, startled by the noise. "What in the world…" not seven feet away was some kind of black and white bird.

'_It has sort of a fishy smell' _she thought. Ellie picked up her wheelbarrow and placed the large bird inside along with her herbs and turned west. The trip through the forest was a long one as she remembered the bittersweet memories of her and her Mom's time away from her dad and her younger brother.

Flashback…

The wind stirred Ellie's fur as Ellie's mother pushed her and the homemade swing softly. "Come on, Mom, higher!" she screeched.

"No, no, sweetie, I think we better get back before your father gets angry again," a small feminine voice said.

Ellie got off the swing and looked sadly at her mother. "He won't hit us again, will he?" she asked.

Her mom sighed. "I don't know, Ellie, I don't know."

End of Flashback

Tears sprung in her eyes as she recalled her grief when her father returned and in his rage, killed her sweet and loving mother. She stood in the entrance of a den, afraid to confront him.

"Hey, Jelly Ellie! Watcha doin?" her younger brother, Thorn Bush asked. He trotted up to her and gasped when he saw the unconscious bird in the wheelbarrow. "You killed it!" he yelled.

"No I didn't! I found him in the garden! And he's… waking up."

"Oh, crud, how are we going to tell Dad!" Thorn Bush said, probably thinking of owning a vampire slaying shop in Romania.

"We're not owning a vampire slaying business!"

"Well, if you have any other ideas, I'd be glad to hear it! Except a werewolf hunting business, my friend Bill called it."

A soft moaning sound interrupted their quarrel. The siblings stared at the bird who blinked twice, and stuttered "y-you're badgers!" and fainted yet again.

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"Shh. He's awaken." A voice said. Rico opened his eyes to see a golden-brown rabbit standing right in front of him. Twenty other rabbits stared, mystified by his presence.

"Uh, waz you lookin at?" he muttered.

"What we are looking at, my friend, is you! The prophecy has been revealed!" he shouted.

"We went over this, Nubbo, every thing that falls from the sky, doesn't mean it's part of a prophecy."

There were gasps of astonishment as a brown hare rolled his eyes, no one called the chief rabbit wrong! Nubbo glared at the rabbit known as Shang, "Alright then, you can take care of him until the time of the prophecy is right."

"Wha prophecy!" Rico yelled as all the rabbits except Shang scurried away.

"All I know is that Nubbo is a nub…and mental" Shang added as the two faintly heard ' _My lettuce is possessed!'_

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'_Okay, it has officially three hours, forty-two minutes and twelve seconds'_ thought Kowalski as he stared into the eyes of a dental clown. _'He hasn't moved yet, maybe if I ru.. I mean retreat fast enough, he won't notice.'_ Kowalski quickly darted behind a cobwebbed chair that you would find in a dentists' office.

He shuddered inwardly, already thinking of an escape plan. Distract and hide in a corner, he told himself. He dived towards the clown and attempted to pull down its pants, but realized they were stuck to its body. "Oh crud…" Kowalski muttered, he ran towards the dark-paneled window before shouting "Plan Beeeee!" and jumped out.

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Skipper landed with a thud into what seemed like a dark alley. "Who's there?" a suspicious voice grunted.

Skipper's eyes widened in the dark, the last time he heard that grunt had been not two months ago. "Well, well, Hans, I didn't expect you to return at the crime of the scene so early." he teased.

Hans turned towards Skipper, "Some old friends of mine cleared the story up… more or less. Right, fellas?"

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So, yeah. There will be a few made-up characters, but probably just for this story. And I'm so sorry I can't update so often! I just have project after project after project! It's driving me CRAZY!

**P.S. I like salami.**

**P.S.S. I don't own POM or Smokey the bear!**


	6. Chapter 5

**I am **_**really **_**sorry for not having a chance to update. Blame the temperate rainforest and Greek theater and math. I mean **_**who**_** corners 283 komodo dragons in their backyard! Actually, just blame the educational system.** Chapter 5

A patch of sunlight finally woke Private up. "That was some dream," he muttered.

"Really, what was it about?" Thorn Bush asked.

"It was about these huge, blackish-brownish badgers! One of them wanted to own a vampire slaying business in Romania, just like Uncle Nigel did."

"Um, Private, you're not dreaming." Ellie gently said

In an instant Private was up and against the back of a small cave. "How do you know my name?"

"You talk in your sleep," both badgers said. Private was about to open his mouth when a large snout came into view. Ellie was quick to rush to Private's and hide him from her extremely large father.

The father (let's call him George) snarled, his shoulders unable to fit through the entrance. George glared at the two young badgers, making them tremble with fear. "I heard voices."

Thorn Bush bowed his head, "It was just us Father. We were talking about planting daises in the garden soon."

"And you dare talk about things behind my back!" George growled.

"N-no, father. Besides…"

George lurched out and dragged his claws over Thorn Bush's face, causing a long red gash to appear. Private whimpered; it was obvious this badger was pure evil.

"Let that be a warning to both of you," he lumbered outside; clearly satisfied with the sense of fear he left behind.

"See, Ellie! We can't stay here, we have nothing left!"

"I know Thorn Bush, but where are we going to go?"

Private hesitantly stepped forward, "You don't have to go… I can help you."

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Rico grimaced, all he'd been hearing for 12 hours was…

_It's a world of laughter  
A world of tears  
It's a world of hopes  
And a world of fears  
There's so much that we share  
That it's time we're aware  
It's a small world after all _

_It's a small world after all  
It's a small world after all  
It's a small world after all  
It's a small, small, small, small world _

_There is just one moon  
And one golden sun  
And a smile means  
Friendship to every one  
Though the mountains divide  
And the oceans are wide  
It's a small world after all _

_It's a small world after all  
It's a small world after all  
It's a small world after all  
It's a small, small, small, small world_

'_It REALLY gets annoying after a while_.' Rico thought. '_Of all songs that had to be a piece of tradition, it HAD to be this one!'_

MEANWHILE

"Shang do you know about the prophecy including your friend?" Nubbo asked.

"Yeah, but I don't think the people reading this story do," he said rolling his eyes. Like they were in a story!

" Well, the prophecy says that he who falls from the sky will protect us from…" Nubbo paused as a lightning streak exploded in the background "George."

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The glass surrounding Kowalski added the amazement to him as he realized his stupidity in jumping out a window. The sudden landing on the concrete below winded Kowalski for a while. As soon as he was able to breath normally he stood up and observed his surroundings.

Around him were cars, lots of cars. Kowalski blinked and noticed he was in a parking lot. _'A parking lot? What for?_' Then he saw the sign ' The Haunted Dentist Office'. '_Well no wonder!'_ Kowalski thought. He always was afraid of dentists … and clowns.

" I forgot to carry the two again, didn't I?" Kowalski slapped his forehead as he realized the danger he and his friends had gotten into. " I need to find them, and fast!" He headed south under the scorching sun all the while shouting, "I CAN'T FEEL MY FEET!"

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Blood clouded Skipper's vision as he fought for his life against five great danes. Hans grinned evilly as red liquid flooded the alleyway. " Oh Skipper, don't struggle. Your brother would have wanted for you to die more quickly." But it was clear that the puffin enjoyed the fight.

A dane, a perfectly black one, grew tired of the endless dance between the penguin and his comrades. He leaped, but at the corner of his vision, Skipper saw him. The dog landed, Skipper fought. Blood flowed openly, as if the substance desired to go away from the sight of pain. The last thing Skipper remembered was the sensation of fear; fear that all this blood was his.

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OMG! Skipper! I feel so bad for him… and Rico. Please review! (pouts) It would make Rico a little saner. (Hears Rico screaming from somewhere in the distance)


	7. Chapter 6

**I need a new computer! Everything crashed last Thursday… except internet, I don't know why. So I couldn't update my story until today.**

Private

"But, Private, you're half the size of our father! You'll be crushed before you can even made your first stance!" Ellie said.

Private looked at the floor, "My friend Skipper always said to try the best you can… and you might succeed."

"Why would anyone want to suck seed? If that's the only thing you'll get in return, I wouldn't do it. Jeesh Ellie, you always give the lousiest gifts!" Thorn Bush asked.

Private rolled his eyes. Thorn Bush sure sounded a lot like Julian just then.

"Well at least mine don't smell like dirty socks!" Ellie stated.

"At least…"

"Stop yelling!" George roared.

"I guess you're our only hope." Ellie whispered.

"Way to sound like Star Wars." Thorn Bush grumbled.

"Great, but we're going to need a plan." Private said. The three of them leaned in and started planning the far-fetched plan of all of fanfiction!

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Rico

Rico twisted and turned in the moss- covered den the rabbits gave him. He couldn't sleep, thinking of the expectations of the simple-minded rabbits and his friends. Where were they now? Were they all right? What did all the zoo animals think of their low maitnance? Of course Rico didn't know, but he wished his friends were okay.

Shane stuck his nose into Rico's den, "Nubbo wants to see you."

Rico looked at Shane questionably, what did _Nubbo _want? "It's to make battle plans against George." Shane reminded him.

Right, _battle plans_. Rico silently followed Shane, wanting the meeting to be over already.

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Kowalski

"The sun's all but burned holes in the bottom of my feet." Kowalski complained to no one in particularly.

"Huh, you think you have it tough, you should see what the humidity does to me. See all my feathers are bunched up!"

"Oh no, bunched up? I feel _so _bad for you." Kowalski said sarcastically. "Wait a second, who's there?" Kowalski screeched, forming a fighting stance.

"Gosh, Kowalski, a little slow there." A commando voice said.

"Sk-sk-ipper?" There… was a foggy, but sloid form of a flat-headed penguin.

**No, Skipper! (sniff) He had so much to live for… Well, sorry for the cliff hanger. But don't worry, it's going to be epic!**


	8. Chapter 7

**I'm back! Did you miss me? (crickets) Well, here's the next chapter!**

Kowalski

"**SKIPPER? WHO- WHY- WHEN- WHAT!"**

"What's wrong with you soldier?" Skipper asked, attempting to slap him in the back of the head. The flipper went through, leaving Skipper to stare at it in wonderment. "Talk about empty-headed..." he stated

"Skipper!"

"What?"

"Your a- a-"

"Don't say it! Don't!"

"Apparition!"

"Wait... what?

Kowalski sighed. "An apparition is a noun. It means-"

" No, I understand what it means, but come on! _I'm_ not one!"

"Skipper, I- AUGHHHH!"

"What?"

"AUGHHHHHHH!" Kowalski pointed behind him.

Skipper turned to where his flipper was. "GREAT BARRIER REEF! IT'S... a building."

"The same one that I escaped from..." Kowalski whimpered.

"Yeah... you _did _know that you've been walking around in circles for hours."

"But I could have sworn that I was walking in the same direction."

"That's what the Mexican sun does to you... Hey, is that building isolated?" Skipper then turned and walked into the 'The Haunted Dentist's Office'.

"_Skipper_" Kowalski whined as he followed him inside.

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Private

Thorn Bush was in the middle of a yawn when he bolted up straight. "Do you hear that guys?"

"No." Private replied. "Nothing."

"That's the problem... George isn't here."

Ellie stood up. "Then we better go find him."

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Rico

The battle meeting was a long one, with Nubbo declaring prophecies left and right. But 45 minutes later, it was finally over. Rico and Shane exited the meeting room and was heading uphill when a loud shriek pierced the night air. "GEORGE IS HERE!" screamed a small rabbit around the age of two.

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**Looks like Private and Rico are going to meet up soon... **


End file.
